What causes low self-esteem? It's the belief you have about yourself as facts when they are actually just opinions. These are based on your life experiences and if you've only have had negative experiences then you will have negative thoughts and believe them. These experiences (not always) occur early in life (when a child or teenager). What you seen or heard from your parents, neighborhood, school - these influence how you think and see yourself.
Examples of early experiences that affect your life:
- Constant punishment, neglect or abuse
- feeling like you can't meet the standards of your parents or that you don't make them proud
- feeling like a failure because you don't meet your peers standards
- People taking out the stress on you
- Belonging to a family in which other people are prejudice
- You are not hugged or told "I love you." No one takes notice of your accomplishments, or gives you affection
- Being the (what some people call) the black sheep of the family or the odd one at home and at school
- Abusive relationship - verbal and physical abuse
- Always under stress
- Traumatic events
- Being intimidated at work or other place
- Being the odd one out, at home, or at school
- An absence of affection, praise or affection or interest
The Bottom Line
As we grow up we take the voices of who were significant to us with us. We may criticize ourselves in there sharp tones, and make the same comparisons with other people that did.
Because the Bottom Line is usually formed in childhood, it is usually biased and inaccurate, because it is based on a child's-eye view.
Bias Thinking:
Once you get to the Bottom Line is in place, it becomes increasingly difficult to question it. That it is because it is maintained and strengthened by biased thinking, which means you give weight to anything that is consistent with your beliefs, and discount anything that is not.
Two thinking biases contribute to low self-esteem: biased perception and biased interpretation. Biased perception means that you are swift to spot anything that fits your negative ideas about yourself, and you screen out anything that contradicts them. So you focus on what you do wrong, and ignore what you do right. Biased interpretation means that you distort the meanings you attach to what you experience - even if the experience is positive (so if someone compliments you on your appearance, you might think that they meant that you have been looking unattractive before, or that they didn't mean what they said and were just trying to be nice).
You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and this makes you sensitive to any sign that they are turning out the way you expected.
How is low self-esteemed manifested?
At the heart of your self-esteem are your core beliefs about the kind of person you are. If you have low self-esteem these beliefs will be mainly negative. and negative beliefs are expressed in many ways. In your thoughts about yourself you're likely to be self-critical, self-blaming, and self-doubting: you may avoid challenges and opportunities, be continually apologetic or find it difficult to be assertive.
- Such beliefs can influence many aspects of your life:At work, you may consistently under perform - or, conversely, be righteous in your perfectionism, driven by fear of failure.
- In your personal relationships you may suffer from terrible self-consciousness, over sensitivity, to criticism or disapproval, or excessive eagerness to please.
- Some try to be always in control or always put others first
- In leisure time you might avoid any activity where there is a risk in being judged, or perhaps simply feel that they don't deserve to relax.
- You might take proper care of yourself.
Sometimes low self-esteem is an aspect of current problems, such as depression. Clinically depressed people almost always see themselves in a negative light. If it started on the onset of depression then you need to start by treating the depression and this can restore your confidence in yourself. Low self-esteem are also caused by something else that is causing you stress: relationship problems, chronic illness, past bad experiences, self image and listening to vicious comments that others speak about you or little comments here and there that stay with us. Low self-esteem is making you vulnerable to other problems. In this case, tackling the root of the problem. This includes depression, suicidal thoughts, eating or anxiety disorder and others.
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| LOVE YOURSELF |
Whenever you are questioning your worth you need to challenge your thinking with what Scripture says about you and who you are in Christ. Low self-esteem is based on what you believe about yourself. You may have received negative messages from your parents, from your friends or spouse - which caused you feel worthless. No matter what the cause for your low self-esteem - God does not make junk! God places great value on you. He sent His Son to die for your sins because of Hi desire to know you and make you part of His heaven-bound family!
- When I fail at something, I feel lousy about myself
- When others don't approve of me, I can't seem to get over it
- Sometimes it feels like I'll never measure up
- I'm so hopeless
These beliefs are contrary to Scripture and will prevent your self-worth from growing. Jesus Christ proclaims the following facts about who you are as His child, as His servant and as His friend. When you become a Christian - someone who trusted fully in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and repented from sin - you have a brand new identity in Christ! Do you believe what Jesus says about you or the false beliefs underneath low self-esteem.
- For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the Kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14
- I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
- Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God John 1:12
- And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be with you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him. John 14:13-21
- All the prophets testify about Him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name Acts 10:423
- In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace - Ephesians 1:7
What are the truths about your identity from these verses?
- That you are a Child of God in the universe because you have trusted in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior
- That Christ lives you and you live in Christ
- That when you allow Jesus to have control of your life, you will produce valuable works which glorify God
- That Jesus will hear your prayers and answer them
- That the Father and the Son love you
- That you have forgiveness and eternal life because of your relationship with and faith in Christ
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