Forgiveness - Forgive and Forget is it Possible? Some of my experiences

Hi - How are you doing? Hope all is well and you are blessed by the Lord. God has been putting in my heart to talk about forgiveness and I've been trying to write about something else that is taking me way longer than it should. After spending several hours on another post, creating and adding images, etc. battery running low it is now 12:30 a.m. Friday June 6, 2014 and once again the Lord speaks to my heart "forgiveness."

I know I had an issue with forgiveness and today I can say that it so much easier to forgive. I sometimes might not do it immediately, but I do try to do it before the day ends.

Forgive: To grant pardon to a person; to grant (pardon) remission of an offense; to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies; (this is the forget part)

Forgive and Forget - this is a good one. I have heard many people say I will forgive but I will never forget. Do you know what you are saying? I grant pardon to that person (I will forgive) but I will NOT cease to feel resentment against that person. See this second part is the forget part. There are things in life that happen to us that are very painful and horrible, for instance being physically and sexually abused, raped, kidnapped, etc. these kinds of things - when you have gone through this kind of experience and you turn to God and ask Him to help you to not only forgive but to forget what you are actually saying is that you not only want to forgive that person but that you also want all feelings of resentment to be gone. You will notice that you will still have the memory, but not the pain or resentment towards that person - this my friend is true forgiveness. I can speak freely on this because I went through it in my own life. I was sexually abused when I was 11 years old. I remembered the horrible event in my mid 20's and in my mid 30's I forgave and in the late 30's I forgot. I didn't hold resentment towards that person, I didn't wish him no harm; instead I prayed for his salvation. You know one day I went to church after becoming a babe in Christ and I seen him there and I felt from God tell him you forgive him. I said within me, he should be asking me for forgiveness. However, I was obedient and went up to him and told him I forgive you and gave him a hug. He didn't say anything back but he didn't have to, that God allowing me to be totally be free from what was keeping me bound an unforgiving heart full of resentment. I had breakthrough. Only God does that!

Now I have to mention of those that I have also heard for myself that say no I am never forgiving that person because they were my friend and they did me wrong. Some, shame to say it are angry with their mom or dad maybe both or the entire family and won't forgive. Some say I'll forgive if they ask for forgiveness first.

Let's look at what the Bible says about that, Matthew 5:23-24 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." The Word clearly states in this verse that if you know that someone has something against you it did not say if you have something you have against someone else. See we are always worried about our own selves. We are worried about our own feelings (did you even think for one moment about there feelings?) and how we were upset about what someone supposedly said or did because it usually comes through the grapevine, but not always (sometimes face to face). Here's another word people do not like HUMBLE. We feel that if we forgive someone we are humbling ourselves so that is a sign of weakness but in reality that is a sign of strength.

I have another example (See I like to share my own life experiences so that you know that I'm not just writing about something I know nothing about) I was a youth leader in Cleveland, Ohio. It was an early Sunday morning and the youth was there because we had a lock-in and we finished our weekend with a fast on Sunday. I went to pray in a back room behind altar and when I began to pray the thought came to my mind "so and so is upset with you and she won't talk to you." I said Lord I don't know why she won't talk to me I haven't done anything to her. So I got up and went and called her to come with me to the room. I told her I had noticed that she had been ignoring me and avoiding me and that she acted like she was upset with me to tell me what I did wrong because I truly did not know. She proceeded to tell me that it was that on one day when we were leaving church as I went around dismissing myself from the people that I was standing alone and starring towards her and that she said hello and I didn't respond back. I said sweetie there are times that it might look like I'm looking at you or any other person but I'm not and just off thinking, my mind is elsewhere. A simple misunderstanding that would have escalated if I would have ignored it and tried to pray anyways. I also, my own opinion, feel that how could God listen to my prayer if I seeing my brother or sister cannot forgive them when God didn't have to take my place or punishment so that I could obtain forgiveness.

Dear Reader, please forget about the little petty things. Small differences, disagreements, misunderstandings, things not going always your way - your friend has choices too - this is small stuff for you to go on with your life not wanting to forgive and forget.

Will you not forgive?

Many have lost good friends because of this, also spouses and children. Also it's not only words but also actions and body language sends out wrong signals that can be misinterpreted.

I don't know if it is because I've prayed to God so much about forgiveness; to give me a forgiving heart that if I know someone is upset with me even though I really didn't do anything wrong - I will automatically and immediately ask for forgiveness. Please understand that not everybody is willing to forgive, but once you've asked them for forgiveness you've done your part and you let it go. You see the person treat them like you always have. 

Do you know that the bible says if you don't know how to forgive men that sin against you, your Father (God) will not forgive yours? It sure does. Here are a few bible verses about forgiveness:

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15

God's forgiveness towards us and we should imitate His example:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalms 103:12

I, even, I am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case of your innocence. Isaiah 43:25-26

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. Acts 3:19

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it spring up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 - This is after forgiveness; after salvation. I love this verse!

Remember...Forgive and Forget - it can happen overnight because nothing is impossible for Him. But it is a process and we have to be honest with God. My prayer to God every day was God show me whatever is going to stop your blessing to come down, whatever hindrance there is show me so I can ask for forgiveness and rid of it in my life. And He started doing it, through me it was through dreams. Very specific ones.

I pray that as you begin learning about God's forgiveness; that just as He forgives you that God will give you a forgiving spirit.

Note: I know I wrote a lot of bible verses this is why I made sure they were in a different color, If I'm going to speak about the Word of God, I want to make sure I back it up with Bible verses (What He said).